#cdd switching

[chemicalcarousel]

that kind of "seamless switching" where you don't immediately notice the switch is a really weird experience because you'll just go about whatever you were doing and then realise oh i'm fronting now damn how did that happen

[interstellarsystem]

Music as a Switching Method

We have mostly voluntary switches, but that doesn't mean it's easy. Sometimes it's hard to stay in the front when the body really wants One Particular Guy to front for the next week straight. It has a habit of latching onto one person until they get worn out, then shoving another guy into front--rinse and repeat. No one likes it. It's not productive. Sure, we can switch, but we feel absolutely horrible and blurry if we do, if the brain decides it doesn't want whoever switched in.

But we've learned ways to make it easier for other people to hold onto the front using certain methods. One of the most effective ways to do it? Music. A lot of us have our own playlists, favourite songs and music tastes, and those get so associated with us that they're almost inseparable from us. Like our own list of theme songs that we have playing in the background when we're around. And what do you know, it grounds us and keeps us from blurring too hard.

Your identity gets so merged with your playlist that years after your last front, you can hear a song from it and be rocketed straight into the fronting area from wherever you were inside. Some people share songs across playlists and those don't tend to be as strong of a front trigger, but sometimes they lean more toward being a switch-in trigger for one person than anyone else. Sometimes it depends on the overall playlist vibe and takes a few songs in a row to summon someone from the headspace. Sometimes it's as simple as the first few notes of a favourite song.

It's almost literally like we have our own theme songs that follow us around like videogame characters. If the song plays, you know we're there or we'll be there soon. It definitely helps with times where our brain is being difficult. It means that sometimes switches happen out in public if we hear a certain song playing on some speaker somewhere, but that's better for us than not having any way to combat identity-blurring.

[scarlet97531]

There are two types of rapid switching. the one people talk about the most feels like a tornado, too many people shoved too close together in a disorienting mess that no one really wants to be a part of.

The one we’ve never seen anyone talk about is like small quiet waves, when two people are so connected and in sync that switching becomes as easy and natural as breathing. The outside world becomes insignificant and it hardly even matters who is in front anymore. It’s like a slow dance in an empty room with no music.

[dissociating-brain]

Can we invent a switching headache that *doesnt* feel like there’s a knife in my head????

[pluralia-tantum]

Just convinced myself I was definitely misdiagnosed with DID and then read something about non-possession form switches and went 😮

[beelzebubsbois]

If you are able to use the app and the discord bot, link your discord to the app! The bot will update with your system and you can set up a name proxy and display name (Alias) from the app!

The bot uses slash commands (just type "/" and click the octocon icon in discord, and it'll bring up every command for the bot, including server commands!)

In the app you can change the way you add alters to front, the default is to swipe to add and remove them from front, but you can make it a button just like simply plural! They also have a "dyslexic font" option along with security options such as a passcode, app masking (making the app appear as a news app to people just clicking on it in your phone), and a quick escape option. All of which are optional and can be turned on or off at will!

The app is new and still being developed further, but we love how it is coming so far!

Octocon is a new app for systems. It's anti endo and made by traumagenic systems. It also has a discord bot that is a lot easier to use than pk in my opinion. You can also sync your app and the bot so you can edit alters in the app. The app is on android already and coming to IOS soon. Hope this helps some people :)

(If you're in a server, I recommend adding this bot as more people are starting to use it instead of pk and tupperbox)

[iwillbreakyourfuckingskull]

Host got stressed about us missing the train and our brain thought it was a good idea to make me front to deal with... not catching a fucking train??? Wtf am I gonna do about it???? I just had to pretend to be kinda normal in front of our siblings (I did say I was dissociating, but im not gonna introduce my fictive ass rn that would just make us dissociate even more holy shit this is an annoying disorder ngl)

[littlest-bugz]

The Collective You

[one system's brief advice about accepting the idea of the collective you]

One of the best pieces of system advice started from a tumblr post and was elaborated by my DID specialist. I can't find the original tumblr post that started it, so I'm making a little post of my own <3 Share the knowledge. and also hope that someone can link the original post lol.

When I was REALLY going through it™ with my first diagnosis w/ DID, and a lack of integration, all of my alters felt like separate individuals, some of us feeling as distanced as a coworker or a stranger altogether. We were just getting a grasp on internal communication between all of our subsystems, and it was rough. We felt so entirely differentiated that we were our own people trapped in one body. While I don't really care about what language you use, all alters in CDDs are a part of one person [there's only one body and brain]- the collective you.

So obvs, I'm scrolling tumblr like the chronically online doomscroller that I am, and I see this post that goes along the line of not knowing who you are, but knowing you are 'you', regardless of who you are [referring to alters]. And it said something like "we're all me enough to pick up our meds"- something like that. iirc it was a half light hearted, half advice post, but that was really good advice for me. I kind of internalized it after I processed it in therapy. It's actually why I have started to love parts language lately tbh.

After further processing this idea in therapy, Identity Confusion stopped mattering in the grand scheme of things. I focused less on worrying about who I was, and just focused on the fact that I'm me. Just like the post I saw- We are all me. The example of all being me enough to pick up my medications just applied, like, everywhere. Even when it came down to the smallest things- with coping with other symptoms too.

Oh? I don't like coffee right now? I guess I should switch to something else. [differentiated alters]

Oh? I have barely any drawing skills right now? Okay, really sucks but I can work on something else and come back to it later. [skill variance between alters]

Oh? I have to go to a doctor's appointment? I know I'll forget that- Gotta write a list, and put it up on the board so I remember. [day to day amnesia]

You know what happened? My dissociation got better! Not immediately or entirely, obviously, and my memory [re amnesia] still sucks, but that's part of the disorder- plus other disorders that I have. This idea of the collective you is something that I think is really beneficial to all CDD systems, especially during the mid to later stages of recovery.

I, admittedly, credit most of my healing to conversations I have had with my DID specialist. Especially since, without her, I wouldn't have been able to process this idea of the collective me further, but the conversation wouldn't have been started if I hadn't seen that post on tumblr. This was a budding concept with us due to the separation we had. It helped with integration. GRANTED... Not every alter got the memo, obviously, but It's something that I'm still working on. Of course, being me comes with the prerequisite that I am a person with DID, and that I am made up of multiple parts.

Now for the piece of advice I got from my therapist- Though it requires a certain level of knowledge of your own system, such as a list of alters and some identifying info [fav drinks, fav colors, those type of things]. Look at the list of your alters wherever it may be. Just whatever you use for logging your system members. Look for the commonalities between alters. There will be at least some commonalities.

For example; A good 45% of us like bunnies, 45% like cats, and 10% have a liking for other kinds of animals. Using this information, I can pretty much deduce that 1. the collective me loves animals and 2. the collective me likes cats and bunnies especially.

Another example; I looked through our simplyplural, which has a favorite color thing [in ours at least]. By looking through the list, I figured out 1. wow I like literally all colors- my fav color is rainbows and 2. I especially like pink and light blue.

More examples; the list.. THE LIST... I looked through it and saw that a good 90% of us like MONSTER ENERGY DRINKS- of varying flavors, but the common denominator was Ultra Strawberry Dreams, but all of us like [or tolerate] water as a preferred drink. From there I can come to the conclusion that I prefer water over anything else and that I have a problem with monster [being light hearted but I genuinely do].

I hope you get the idea I'm going for. I used this process for nearly every aspect of our collective identity, though some had to genuinely be voted on, such as our LGBTQIA+ labels [offline, we just call ourself queer, but that's.. aside the point LMAO].

Obviously, there are going to be outliers- Having DID comes with the fun [/s] aspect of alters being differentiated from each other in some capacity. Example for the monster energy one- We have a handful of alters that HATE energy drinks- even just fizzy drinks in general. There's one guy who will only drink Black Coffee and water- nothing else. He's the guy who is always hiding away our monsters in the way back of the fridge, but guess what!! He's me!! The part of me that doesn't want me to ruin my health over energy drinks. The part of me that knows I deserve better than my unhealthy habits.

Getting to know the collective you is just like learning about your system! It is not inherently different than figuring out what an alters dislikes or likes are. The idea of The Collective You shouldn't feel scary or anxiety inducing- if it is, you may want to confront those feelings with a therapist if you have access to one. Every CDD system is the collective [or, well, system] of one fragmented individual- That is a studied and objective fact. I wanted to give advice from one recovering system to another.

No, this will not work for everyone, every system is different, but I'm hoping this post finds the right audience in knowing that it's worth a shot to try this!

[here-4-the-mk-system]

Yes, and I would like to add a few things!

From what I gathered, Steven's role in the system was to provide reprieve from the trauma and abuse (eg. when Steven switched in when Wendy was yelling at Marc through the bedroom door). Then Steven chose to take on a more interactive and intentionally supportive role (eg. when Steven negociated with Khonshu and advocated for both himself and Marc).

Marc's role is to handle certain stressful situations (eg. when the Jackal was trying to break into the bathroom) and every day life (though Steven handles every day life smoothly, I assume it's usually Marc fronting because Layla didn't know about Steven prior to the start of the show). It is out of consious choice that Marc intentionally tries to shield Steven from the brutality in their life, and comfort and support him.

Jake's role is the most physically protective in the system. He fronts when their life is in immidete danger (eg. the Cairo fight on the rooftops and the finale). It's safe to assume Jake fronted during the worst of the abuse since Steven has no recollection of it and Marc without a doubt was not fronting. I assume Jake cares dearly for both Marc and Steven since he keeps himself so hidden and out of the way to not disturb Marc and Steven (also it was likely Jake who put on the bed restraint on the body in the end of the finale).

They look out for each other.

Steven protected Marc mentally

and

Jake protected Marc physically

[chemicalcarousel]

something funny that happened to us was when we joined a schizotypal discord server because our psych team thought we had that disorder and there we met two friends we still talk to, but it turned out that all three of us were actually cdd systems, which we slowly learned pretty much simultaneously, but independently

[heavens-roses]

Octocon and RAMCOA survivors

pt: octocon and RAMCOA survivors

cw: RAMCOA, number names

Felt I should share this as I haven't really seen it talked about in system or RAMCOA spaces. When you use Octocon your parts will be attached numbers to each part based off who was created first. While it's likely due to how to code the easiest. it is important to remember that if you are a survivor who has parts who were forced to be called a number, are a survivor who was called a number collectively/bodily, forced to refer to others as numbers or has any trauma related to number names please tread carefully.

I know as a survivor it can be extremely scary not being able to control your name or having anxieties related to not being called your number too. Please know you are not forced to use Octocon just because other people are using it. If plural kit or simply plural work best for you than keep using them. You do not need to switch over and risk your own mental health. Being a survivor who was dehumanized to numbers is horrible and whether you decide to reclaim your trauma or are healing by moving away from it know your triggers are valid.

Know you are never alone in healing your trauma and note this post is for education. This is not to bash in the creators of Octocon nor is it to tell you how to feel about the app/bot. At the end of the day how you find support with yourself is for only you and your system to decide. With thet being said do not interact with this post if you are pro/neu-endo / believe in any form of "plurality" outside of being trauma based. If you are a questioning system, a cdd system who is syscourse unaligned or apathetic you are more than welcome to repost and interact.

[multiplicity-positivity]

Here’s some positivity for those with P-DID!

Unfortunately, P-DID (or partial dissociative identity disorder) is not often talked about or discussed online - many folks with P-DID may feel left out of spaces focused on systems and complex dissociative disorders. However, P-DID systems absolutely belong in the plural community (as long as they wish to be here), and provide a welcome and cherished perspective to the vast experiences of plural folks and those with dissociative disorders! To all those out there with P-DID, this one’s for you!

☀️ Shoutout to systems with P-DID with distinct alters or parts who don’t experience switches!

🧡 Shoutout to those with P-DID who don’t identify as plural or a system!

🌹 Shoutout to P-DID systems who have difficulties interacting and making connections with their alters!

✨ Shoutout to those with P-DID who struggle with dissociation and often feel disconnected from themselves, their bodies, and their surroundings!

🔸 Shoutout to P-DID systems with alters who mostly control the body through passive influence or being co-conscious!

❣️ Shoutout to those with P-DID who have to deal with trauma responses including, but not limited to, flashbacks, anxiety, nightmares, high stress levels, intrusive thoughts, or anything else!

💫 Shoutout to P-DID systems who identify as specutien or having a frontstuck host!

🏵 Shoutout to those who are in treatment for their P-DID, and to those who are functioning well on their own and don’t want to seek treatment!

🎈 Shoutout to those who are questioning whether or not they have P-DID or are taking the steps to get a diagnosis or self diagnose!

🌙 Shoutout to systems who wish P-DID was talked about more and better understood in system or CDD spaces!

✴️ Shoutout to P-DID systems who are grateful for their alters and their plurality, and to those who wish they could be singlets!

We hope that everyone with P-DID who sees this can have an amazing day today. Know that you belong in spaces for systems, trauma survivors, and those with complex dissociative disorders just the way you are. We appreciate and value your perspective, and are so honored to be able to share these spaces with you!

Please do your best to treat yourself and your system (if you identify as such) with kindness and compassion today. You are so loved, and we hope that your future is filled with peace, comfort, healing, and self-acceptance. Thank you so much for reading, and take care!

[scarlet97531]

I just saw this on reddit and wanted to share

Anyone claiming that endogenic and pro endogenic systems are spreading misinformation more than other people have not spent enough time around inclusive plural communities. I see posts like this a lot in the plural subreddit, it’s pretty common for new people to come in with misinformation or just being uninformed, and when they ask about it or say something incorrect they get friendly corrections. I genuinely see way less misinformation in inclusive communities than exclusive communities.

I’ve literally had anti endos claiming that learning to control switches is a bad thing, that different alters can’t have different disorders (like depression or personality disorders), and a lot of internalized plural phobia, believing that being a system is inherently a horrible thing and has only ever hurt them, which is just so unhealthy.

Every community is capable of spreading misinformation and you will see examples of that happening no matter where you go. Endogenic systems and their supporters are not a uniquely horrible source of misinformation, most of the community is well educated and happy to give information about CDDs without invalidating people that have different experiences.

[reimeichan]

So you're trying to help someone through system discovery. What to do?

Was talking to my singlet partner, who at this point has, somehow, netted 3 system partners and another highly-dissociative-but-does-not-necessarily-have-a-CDD throughout their life, about what it's like to help us through dissociation and system discovery. I honestly don't remember much of my own behavior and actions throughout my early CDD recovery journey because my dissociation was that bad, and I really appreciate them taking the time to sit down with me and talk about their experiences with me. And I figured I'd share some of their wisdom that they shared with me here, along with wisdom others have shared with me and wisdom I've managed to pick up myself.

Let the person define their experiences however they want. You can offer them example and perspective based on your own knowledge and experiences and offer up wording if they're struggling with explaining something, but avoid trying to deny or "correct" anything, especially early on.

Go slowly, and at their pace. Don't push for them to learn more about their system, don't ask them to go digging for trauma memories (please, god, please don't do this), don't force them to stay grounded for extended periods of time if they can't. Sometimes a gentle nudge here and there can be helpful, especially if you know the person well and know what their limits are or at least know what to look out for, but be careful how far you push and at the end of the day it works better to trust that they know themselves better than you do.

Accept them for who they are, yes each and all of them. Not every member of the system will be all sunshine and rainbows, some parts may even be "cringe" in some way, and especially when dealing with someone with a CDD you're almost definitely going to be dealing with traumatized parts or parts that are otherwise unpalatable in some way. If a part comes forward with an identity or experience you're unfamiliar with, give them the same love and acceptance you would any other part.

Similarly, do not push alters away simply for existing. Many people make the mistake of thinking there's a "true" personality in the system (ie. a core/original, sometimes attributed to the host alter) and thus only want to interface with that specific alter. In truth, every alter in the system is just as real as each other and it's important to treat all of them as valid.

Understand that this is probably just as if not more confusing for the system going through system discovery than it is for you. Realizing you're a system or a part of a system can cause massive identity issues and shifts in the understanding of the self. Be patient with them as they may be experiencing a lot of conflicting emotions during this time.

Check what's helpful for them or what they'd like you to do to help them through system discovery. Do they want you to help point out potential switches? Do they want you to help with grounding? Do they want help remembering things that may have gotten lost in their amnesia? Would they prefer to explore things by themselves (or with just their therapist) with little to no outside help? Every system is different and what may help one system could be detrimental to another.

Above all, take care of yourself and know your limits. Step back if things are overwhelming, set boundaries when you need to. You can be there for your loved one when you're in a better place to help them.

[snowflake-fragments]

i think the online plural community focuses a lot on polyconscious experiences which is a valid way to experience plurality and cdds but man as a monoconscious system it makes us feel so alienated sometimes

so like big shout out to other monoconscious systems actually, and let's share some of our experiences! i'll start

for us, switching is less like stepping back and letting someone else take the wheel and more like becoming someone else. our sense of identity is forever changeable- someone like Lake is distinctly Not Me but i've been him before. being away from front is like being asleep, unable to move or take in any of myself, but still aware of what's happening.

also, in system relationships are necessarily different. i only know my parts through memory, through notes left, through knowing their favourite songs or their favourite art styles. Angel draws in a way that none of the rest of us do, and I've been him just like I've been all of them, and I can remember his fierce pride at drawing in a more realistic style. Nyx and Ivy are my friends because we leave each other affectionate little notes and memories for the next time one of the others is in front. cofronting for us feels downright magical because it's the only time we get to communicate in real time.

honestly i'm kind of jealous of polyconscious systems. i wish i could consistently have that kind of banter with my parts. but we'll try our best to understand each other anyways

[omnium-gatherums]

Hmm do u think there’s any like signs of a good did therapist? things that stick out so u know they’re good and credible. any ways to tell u think

I thought I remembered making a post about this ages ago, but I can't find it, so.

(CDD = complex dissociative disorders, which includes DID, some people with OSDD, Partial DID, and some people diagnosed with unspecified dissociative disorders who may just be people with one of the other three diagnoses instead)

🟢 Good:

Understands that DID is most often subtle and difficult to notice; that most people with DID do not present with obvious, drastic personality changes

Treats each alter equally, doesn't treat any one alter as "The" "actual/real/true/main" "person"; doesn't try to force one alter/"The Host" to be the only alter to present in therapy/etc.

Understands that functional multiplicity is a completely real and valid way to heal and recover with DID; that you do not need to fuse all alters into "one" in order to recover and heal along with having DID

Adapts/adjusts to the unique language that you use for yourself/your system/alters/etc.

Doesn't make treating you as a system (if that's how you want to be treated) contingent on having a CDD diagnosis. By this I mean that regardless of if you have a CDD or not, regardless of any kind of syscourse, is this the way you exist? Is this how you live your life - how you and other parts/alters/headmates/etc. in your system live your lives? A good therapist should treat y'all the ways you want to be treated and not deny you the rights to exist the ways you do on the basis of whether or not you have a CDD

Do you feel safe around them? Comfortable? Of course having a new therapist at first is difficult and it will take time to build trust and being comfortable around your therapist, but there is difference between the beginning stages of getting to know someone and not really trusting them yet versus feeling actively uncomfortable around them/unsafe. If you actively feel unsafe/uncomfortable with your therapist, this might be a sign that they might not be a good one.

Would you feel sad if you no longer had them as a therapist?

Is willing to admit when they're wrong/willing to admit when they've made mistakes

🔴 Bad:

Won't diagnose DID because they "didn't see you switch" (seeing somebody switch is not a requirement for a DID diagnosis)

Won't diagnose DID because "trauma wasn't bad/wasn't that bad/wasn't bad enough"

Won't diagnose DID because they expect extremely drastic personality changes

Doesn't "believe" in "repressed memories"/that you can have amnesia for trauma and later remember that trauma

Dismisses memories that you claim you had amnesia before; even if there is true reason to believe that your suspicions aren't correct, a good therapist would not immediately be dismissive and minimize your concerns. There are ways to navigate trying to tell someone if you truly feel their memories aren't adding up, and dismissing them and minimizing their concerns/suspicions is not one of them

Treats "the host" (if you have one) as "the actual/real/true/main person"

Tries to force final fusion; thinks that final fusion is the only way to heal/that it's the "real/true" way to heal

Tries to force certain language onto you/your system/etc. (such as forcing you to call your alters parts when you don't personally feel comfortable with that)

Are you afraid of them? Do you feel unsafe around them?

Do you dread going to therapy - not because therapy itself can be draining due to talking about heavy things, but because of seeing them/speaking to them/because you dread seeing your therapist/etc.?

If you had access to a different therapist, would you change therapists in a heartbeat? In this hypothetical, they won't cost any more or less money and nothing else will be a problem and nothing is preventing you from seeing the new therapist.

Tries to push medication

The most important rule is to trust yourself.

If a therapist doesn't feel like a good fit for you, if you have your doubts, if something feels off, DO NOT HESITATE to seek out a different therapist. You don't have to find a reason to "justify" finding a new therapist - you can seek out a different therapist for ANY reason. Any reason is a valid reason. Yes, any reason, even if it truly is a "stupid" and "unreasonable" reason.

For us personally, we know that our therapist is good because:

We feel safe and comfortable around her. Enough to have opened up about things we otherwise tell NO-ONE

We feel seen. We feel like she truly "sees" "us"

We feel safe and comfortable to open up to her and talk to her about when she's said something that upset us, and we do talk about it! We talk it out in a healthy and safe and productive way and we come to an understanding and we feel better when we do

We actively look forward to therapy and seeing her and talking about things with her

We truly have improved, our denial as truly gotten so much better and overall we really have been improving ever so slowly

Sometimes you're in a position where sometimes you have no choice but to "settle" for a therapist even if they aren't perfect. That's okay too. However, sometimes having no therapist is better than having a therapist that actively makes your mental health worse. Never, ever, ever settle for a therapist who makes your mental health worse. It's better to have no therapist than to have a therapist who is actively making your life/mental health/etc. worse.

There are definitely way more red flags and green flags, but this is what I've got for now.